You're intoxicating I don't want another of your complimentary elusive states slouch and stutter my blood won't boil it evaporates dont want to leave you as the lover who lacerates your love because love dies, you'll see cuz endings are beginnings though they startle me hate what loves you love what numbs you pray what lusts through grief with hollow bones leaves imbalanced cold and calloused brittled malice ensures you stay alone

I woke up dreaming this morning I won't explain it feels pointless words get lost on the route from your eyes to mine I stand tall but you rise above it they cut my hair and you fucking love it lucy's in my hands, what do you wanna hear? though the coffee's growing stale if I weren't drunk I'd be scared to death If i heat things up for flavor I will taste your morning breath I'll fuck around on my phone and you'll tell your friends that youre coming home did I leave you satisfied, did I disappoint? You'll say "don't worry about it" ask my roommate she kicked you out it doesn't fucking matter anymore though I seem like I'm :( all the time I'm just myself I'm existing in my prime I'll start running and I'll fix my heavy head like a matador you've left me right on re(a)d don't look to far my subtleties fleeting cause sometimes I see you and it stops me from breathing I'm bloodied in the bathroom and my nose is running faster than my one track mind can fucking take it I'm too gone girl (what a movie) I won't make it I'm a liar I just say shit but come on baby dont u fake it f u u u u ck

rehydrate my innards and we'll spill them on the hardwood wake me up to sweep my sorrows with a broom crush my bones to powder just pretend I'm singing louder and you'll hear me muffled restless in my tomb your sympathy's a loaded gun I'll throw myself off 181 to test out broken theories that you said how time is fake and won't suffice we'll find a common antichrist in the fabric covered crying cluttered dirty laundry demons in my head rip up all the cables least my crooked smile is stable just enough to hold my tongue behind my teeth grip around my collar whore my heart out for a dollar rip it up until there's nothing left to grieve chained to jamey in my room I can't make room for u to stay sober up by afternoon forgive you in a QUIET WAY I left my wits at "solemn sights" I'll search for love on sleepless nights boredom lets our story end so write that poem and fuck your friends

i bled through my inhibitions cause obsessions never cheap holding it in's efficient till it's dripping from the threading of the seams You seem like you hesitate to specify your dreams If I said I had a winning one I'd be lying through my teeth 1 2 3 4 callin out for a lifeline in my reasonable tone i muffle all my cries for help so i'll be left the fuck alone cause i'm a coward for clarity confusion leaves me pissed so don't call this a love song whatever the fuck that is so come to the pity party music starts at 8 I'm flushing all my adderall (did i spell that right at all) my music is a spectacle of everything I hate and I'm my own subject angel-less crime if I execute a construct then I guess I'm doing time I don't need an accomplice to re-animate the dead I do it every morning when I open my eyes and I don't end my life instead I found my god in a shallow grave where humanity set its bar she said you'll take a walk in your fathers shoes and boy you won't get too far cause you're a burden who will never out grow (run) themself so take your nightmares let the dust rest on the shelf I wake up in the morning and I fake my will to live I give it all I got but I get tired of the giving when there's nothing left to give my heart is a graveyard My soul is a mess You'll see me on the other side when my sins are confessed I know how to fly I swept my off my feet When I finally kiss the pavement there will be no elegy

somewhere on the pavement between breathing and dead and now we're halfway to a waypoint not the one in my head it wasn't like in thoughtless wandering where you weren't here I hate myself when I'm sober too if I'm honest You fumble for a cigarette like it's the first you ever had it tastes funny doesn't bring me back to corduroy and plaid and thats an anecdote you'll never get my humors not my best when I've been drinking in the morning scrape the worries from my chest brings me back to the summer of '14 and memories I'm afraid of stoned out of your mind in your car and stone cold in your mind mind you i'd never run far if i had read between your lies and I'm hiding in the corner of my childhood best friends bedroom and the weighted walls are shrinking cause the weight of you won't give room I will grieve until i'm tired and I'll drink until i'm plastered my ex-boyfriend fucking hates me cause what kills me does it faster :/

don't give your soul to me my clumsy fingers fill you up you'll find you've ended heavy handed don't get lost in what could be my love we both wish time was on our side I'll bide mine suppressing silent screams cause I'm of broken teeth a rough path to confide in leaves me with my prosody to hide in. cut through this paper flesh you do so every night one day I'll fix my posture and i'll find my broken light I hate myself for loving you i'd love myself for leaving too but I'm an addict for those stable blues when colors are too much too handle you'll find her sirens innocent but it's a harmony that leaves you feeling dissonant I stole your car because I thought that you'd be into it i guess?

last night I dreamt the day I died my hands were clean my tongue was tied I laid in thought of better times when you still loved me and a love like that could never sleep its a restless sad cacauphony (smth like that) of metaphors that split my grief so you'd love right through me dear when you dream of your mistakes, do you leave me in your wake? so choke me till my face is blue i'll fuck off if you want me too we'll both pretend I never knew that you don't want me and I just cannot make any sense of your roadmaps to indfference you built a house in your defens you tried to show me where forget the stakes will i hurt you when i break?

I ate god for a morning fix I tore through bones with an iron pick i'll keep dropping stupid metaphors til something sticks i swear I'm only fucking with you I build up walls only I can see through I'll climb the ones that I'm working up to I'll face a bottle too and I still won't know what the fuck is wrong with me this body is an idiom that nothing lives in your shatter's on the carpet now you're smoking lint and i don't think you want to see me like this i swear i'm only talking to myself you always keep the light on when you close the door, like I will not inquire what the fuck you're smiling for and I swear I'm only asking for myself cause when you look at me i feel like someone else